Today, I am going to ignore the Manchester City v Manchester United result (we lost 2-1, by the way).
Instead I am going to concentrate on two absolutely horrendous stories in the news:
1. Burglar attacker's appeal fails
The general gist is that Munir Hussain and his brother chased down a burglar and twatted him around the head with a cricket bat.
A burglar that had broken into Mr Hussain's home and tied up his family to steal their belongings. Mr Hussain and his brother escaped, gave chase to the burglar and smacked him that hard he ended up with severe brain damage and the bat was broken into 3 pieces.
Mr Hussain and his brother are now in prison for 30 months for grievous bodily harm with intent.They are currently trying to appeal the conviction.
You know what really grinds my gears? If this burglar, Walid Salem, had not entered Mr Hussain's home he would not have brain damage now. If someone breaks into your home and ties up your family you should be able to do what the fuck you like to them.
If he broke into my home and tied up my family, he would be in my basement undergoing extensive levels of torture. The police would have known nothing about the burglary because, by the time I had finished with him, there would be very little left of Mr Salem.
Cap well and truly doffed to Mr Hussain and his brother. Not just for their courageous vigilante action but also for being able to hit someone so hard with a cricket bat that it smashes into three pieces.
I salute you!
2. Man guilty of 'reckless' HIV sex
This second story is about a woman who found out she had contracted HIV when she was pregnant with twins.The father of these twins had known he had HIV for 9 years (NINE YEARS!!) but still decided to have unprotected sex with this poor woman without advising of the risks.
Not only that, he decided to do the same to 3 other women.
Luckily, the three other women escaped contracting the virus but that is more luck than judgement.
This girl who has the virus is living with a ticking time bomb.
You know what really grinds my gears? This guy will probably get a lenient sentence because of his virus.
I say lock him up for life and when the AIDS kicks in, let this mother fucker suffer. No medication, no pain relief - just agonising pain with no assistance.
You can't take back what he did but you can make this guy suffer. BIG TIME!
Peace out!
Tuesday, 19 January 2010
Friday, 15 January 2010
Flash Stroke?
Perhaps winding my wife up is also the catalyst for my weird dreams. Or maybe my dreams are pointing me in the direction of undiscovered science.
Take last night for instance - after I'd wound up my wife with the ol' "Bony Bony" I shortly drifted off to sleep....
In my dream, I was teaching my brother Dean (the guy in my first blog with the head the size of Jupiter) to drive in a 4 x 4. After the lesson, we stopped off at my house where, for some reason, my wife, Mum, Steve (Mum's husband), Helena were all waiting to take our photo for what they called an "annual family photo".
You must understand that, not being the most photogenic of families (ugly), this is weird in itself.
Anyway, Dean started making excuses to not have his photo taken saying he didn't like it. After much arguing he then revealed that he was "allergic to having his photo taken" following it up with "it gives me flash stroke".
"Flash stroke?", I enquired.
"Yeah, the flash from a camera makes me lose the ability to use one half of my body... It's like a stroke but caused by a camera"
Then before I had time to argue he ran across the road and drove off in the 4 x 4 I had been using to teach him to drive.
Obviously, I am not a great teacher either as Dean proceeded to cut the first corner he came to, failed to give way at the first junction, and narrowly escaped 3 smashes.
Weird.
Take last night for instance - after I'd wound up my wife with the ol' "Bony Bony" I shortly drifted off to sleep....
In my dream, I was teaching my brother Dean (the guy in my first blog with the head the size of Jupiter) to drive in a 4 x 4. After the lesson, we stopped off at my house where, for some reason, my wife, Mum, Steve (Mum's husband), Helena were all waiting to take our photo for what they called an "annual family photo".
You must understand that, not being the most photogenic of families (ugly), this is weird in itself.
Anyway, Dean started making excuses to not have his photo taken saying he didn't like it. After much arguing he then revealed that he was "allergic to having his photo taken" following it up with "it gives me flash stroke".
"Flash stroke?", I enquired.
"Yeah, the flash from a camera makes me lose the ability to use one half of my body... It's like a stroke but caused by a camera"
Then before I had time to argue he ran across the road and drove off in the 4 x 4 I had been using to teach him to drive.
Obviously, I am not a great teacher either as Dean proceeded to cut the first corner he came to, failed to give way at the first junction, and narrowly escaped 3 smashes.
Weird.
The Merchant of Wind Up
Today I wonder if I am the World's Greatest Wind Up Merchant. I hope I am and if this is indeed a fact, where is my god-damn medal?
Last night, I made my wife storm off for a bath and stop speaking to me by simply repeating the word "Bony"
e.g.
Wife: "Sean, your ribs are jabbing in me. You are so bony."
Me: "Bony Bony!"
Wife:"Stop repeating me..."
Me: "Bony Bony!"
etc....
She is now speaking to me again. Just.
Last night, I made my wife storm off for a bath and stop speaking to me by simply repeating the word "Bony"
e.g.
Wife: "Sean, your ribs are jabbing in me. You are so bony."
Me: "Bony Bony!"
Wife:"Stop repeating me..."
Me: "Bony Bony!"
etc....
She is now speaking to me again. Just.
Wednesday, 13 January 2010
Does God Hate Us?
Well it's simple - if He does exist, He hates us for sure.
You want proof? See the following non-exhaustive list:
2. Today's earth quake disaster in Haiti
4. Having to hide your porn from your Missus so she doesn't think you are a deviant. And leaves you.
5. September 11th 2001
6. The fact that I have to buy a 3D TV to watch Avatar the way it should be presented when it comes out on Blu-Ray
8. Also, said 3D TV will probably be a piss poor-spec compared to what will come out if I wait 6 months
9. Petrol prices and the fact that I cannot fix the energy crisis and become an instant billionnaire.
10. The Plague
So, I think you will agree that there is clearly no God.
I also so think that I have made my point succinctly enough and my list, whilst not exhaustive, does cover some pretty important issues.
However, Liverpool have just been knocked out the cup so, I guess, the jury's still out on God's hatred for us (me)...
You want proof? See the following non-exhaustive list:
1. Manchester United losing to Leeds United in the FA Cup 3rd Round a few weeks ago
3. The existence of Bobby Davro (and other annoying "celebrities")
4. Having to hide your porn from your Missus so she doesn't think you are a deviant. And leaves you.
5. September 11th 2001
6. The fact that I have to buy a 3D TV to watch Avatar the way it should be presented when it comes out on Blu-Ray
7. The fact that I will buy said 3D TV and will pay 4 times what it will cost if I wait 6 more months.
9. Petrol prices and the fact that I cannot fix the energy crisis and become an instant billionnaire.
10. The Plague
I also so think that I have made my point succinctly enough and my list, whilst not exhaustive, does cover some pretty important issues.
However, Liverpool have just been knocked out the cup so, I guess, the jury's still out on God's hatred for us (me)...
Sunday, 10 January 2010
Reality TV
As the Queen may say, One is not amused.
If I am to sit through reality shite like Celebrity Big Brother and Dancing On Ice, I expect a modicum of eye candy. I have managed to sit through several series of Dancing On Ice thanks to the fine frame of Kristina Lenko (not the best pic of her but she is hot):
If I am to sit through reality shite like Celebrity Big Brother and Dancing On Ice, I expect a modicum of eye candy. I have managed to sit through several series of Dancing On Ice thanks to the fine frame of Kristina Lenko (not the best pic of her but she is hot):
Instead, I have to put up with potato faced Bobby Davro:
And I didn't win the lottery.
Life is definitely not fair.
Monday, 4 January 2010
Bono = Cock
Why is Bono such a cock?
Normally I would not have to qualify this question. However, the following seems to do that for me:
"The immutable laws of bandwidth tell us we're just a few years away from being able to download an entire season of '24' in 24 seconds," he wrote.
"A decade's worth of music file-sharing and swiping has made clear that the people it hurts are the creators...the people this reverse Robin Hooding benefits are rich service providers, whose swollen profits perfectly mirror the lost receipts of the music business."
Reverse Robin Hooding? Stealing from the poor to give to the rich?
Bono is said to be worth £400 million and is said to have once paid $1700 to fly his favourite hat from London to Italy in first class!
Normally I would not have to qualify this question. However, the following seems to do that for me:
"The immutable laws of bandwidth tell us we're just a few years away from being able to download an entire season of '24' in 24 seconds," he wrote.
"A decade's worth of music file-sharing and swiping has made clear that the people it hurts are the creators...the people this reverse Robin Hooding benefits are rich service providers, whose swollen profits perfectly mirror the lost receipts of the music business."
Reverse Robin Hooding? Stealing from the poor to give to the rich?
Bono is said to be worth £400 million and is said to have once paid $1700 to fly his favourite hat from London to Italy in first class!
Dreams and Reality
One thing that puzzles me more and more is how we distinguish dreams and reality. Now this may seem like The Matrix induced nonsense but this has bothered me since I was a kid. I have some pretty weird dreams and a lot of what I guess we call nightmares. I have lucid dreams - dreams in which I can control myself and my environment; and I have dreams which impact me in the "physical world" i.e. the real me.
So, I thought I would investigate this and see if I could get some answers. As per usual, the internet delivers more information than I could possibly read in a lifetime. Certainly, there is enough out there to make me believe I am not the only mentalist thinking about these things.
Zhuangzi (369—298 BCE) or "Master Zhuang" was apparently ranked among the greatest of literary and philosophical giants that China has produced (read more here and here).
Zhuangzi wrote "Dream of the Butterfly" which seems to encapsulate my thoughts. Sort of:
He who dreams of drinking wine may weep when morning comes; he who dreams of weeping may in the morning go off to hunt. While he is dreaming he does not know it is a dream, and in his dream he may even try to interpret a dream. Only after he wakes does he know it was a dream. And someday there will be a great awakening when we know that this is all a great dream. Yet the stupid believe they are awake, busily and brightly assuming they understand things, calling this man ruler, that one herdsman ‑ how dense! Confucius and you are both dreaming! And when I say you are dreaming, I am dreaming, too. Words like these will be labeled the Supreme Swindle. Yet, after ten thousand generations, a great sage may appear who will know their meaning, and it will still be as though he appeared with astonishing speed.
So, I thought I would investigate this and see if I could get some answers. As per usual, the internet delivers more information than I could possibly read in a lifetime. Certainly, there is enough out there to make me believe I am not the only mentalist thinking about these things.
Zhuangzi (369—298 BCE) or "Master Zhuang" was apparently ranked among the greatest of literary and philosophical giants that China has produced (read more here and here).
Zhuangzi wrote "Dream of the Butterfly" which seems to encapsulate my thoughts. Sort of:
Once upon a time, I, Zhuangzi, dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither,
to all intents and purposes a butterfly.
I was conscious only of following my fancies as a butterfly,
and was unconscious of my individuality as a man.
Suddenly, I awaked, and there I lay, myself again.
Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly,
or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man.
Between a man and a butterfly there is necessarily a barrier.
The transition is called Metempsychosis
Is there going to be a great "awakening"? Is this going to be some Matrix-like revelation? Is this in some way related to the end of the Mayan calendar and the so-called global "consciousness shift" and general spiritual evolution of man that awaits us in 2012?
I'm fucked if I know, Terry.
Sunday, 3 January 2010
The New Year Begins...
If I am to do this properly, I suppose I should introduce myself and some of the people I love and annoy.
I am 31 years old and I work in the IT industry as a Service Desk Manager. I have worked in IT for about 7 years now and hope to have a bright future ahead of me (or an incredible Lottery result).
I am married to a glorious, patient and often hilarious lady called Jeanette. She is my rock, she looks after me, she makes me feel happy when I would otherwise be down. She makes me laugh and no doubt some quotes from her will appear here soon.
We are hardly the most active couple in the world (excluding the bedroom ahem!) as we enjoy watching sports and movies together and the occasional crap on the television. We enjoy good food and like to cook for each other but we are also fairly lazy so, probably more often than we should, we just call for a pizza!
I consider myself a DJ - ex professional - mainly because I still have my decks and collect vinyl. I do expect to go fully digital in 2010 though so expect to see them on ebay soon.
My younger brother Dean, who is about 18 feet tall, lives in Madrid with his girlfriend Helena. He is one of those irritating people who seems to breeze through life with no responsibility. We have a good relationship but always find something to argue about - be it Mario Kart, music, movies, football (despite supporting the same team). I expect Dean and Helena to appear on here often over the course of 2010 as we often chat online together and share opinions. I also hope to visit them in Madrid at some point this year.
I also expect to introduce some of my closest friends over the course of the year as and when I see them.
My main reason for this blog is to keep a track of what we do, my thoughts and opinions over the year, and hopefully for others to comment or advise. I say in my title that I am "semi-normal" but I cannot quantify this in anyway and often think that I over-analyse everything and worry about pointless things. I let these thoughts stress me out sometimes and I hope that feedback I get will confirm that most of us are similarly neurotic about nothing. Or that I am insane.
Today
Today my team, Manchester United, lose at Old Trafford to major rivals Leeds United. Normally this would be reason enough for me to just sulk but the fact that we were out-played for the vast majority by a team two divisions below us, on the last day of my Christmas holidays, makes me lose the will to do anything.
I woke up this morning feeling fresh and motivated but, after seeing my team play like they were the lower division side, I only managed to do the ironing and a bit of tidying up.
Anyway, I am not going to let this one game completely ruin my day. After all, there is the Darts World Final tonight which could be a great match seeing as the seemingly annual Barneveld vs Taylor show has seen a surprise upset.
If I don't watch this, I may get dumped with Celebrity Big Brother or one of the following movies:
I am 31 years old and I work in the IT industry as a Service Desk Manager. I have worked in IT for about 7 years now and hope to have a bright future ahead of me (or an incredible Lottery result).
My poor wife!
We are hardly the most active couple in the world (excluding the bedroom ahem!) as we enjoy watching sports and movies together and the occasional crap on the television. We enjoy good food and like to cook for each other but we are also fairly lazy so, probably more often than we should, we just call for a pizza!
I consider myself a DJ - ex professional - mainly because I still have my decks and collect vinyl. I do expect to go fully digital in 2010 though so expect to see them on ebay soon.
1210's, CDJ's and some of my vinyl
My younger brother Dean, who is about 18 feet tall, lives in Madrid with his girlfriend Helena. He is one of those irritating people who seems to breeze through life with no responsibility. We have a good relationship but always find something to argue about - be it Mario Kart, music, movies, football (despite supporting the same team). I expect Dean and Helena to appear on here often over the course of 2010 as we often chat online together and share opinions. I also hope to visit them in Madrid at some point this year.
Helena and Dean in Madrid
I also expect to introduce some of my closest friends over the course of the year as and when I see them.
My main reason for this blog is to keep a track of what we do, my thoughts and opinions over the year, and hopefully for others to comment or advise. I say in my title that I am "semi-normal" but I cannot quantify this in anyway and often think that I over-analyse everything and worry about pointless things. I let these thoughts stress me out sometimes and I hope that feedback I get will confirm that most of us are similarly neurotic about nothing. Or that I am insane.
Today my team, Manchester United, lose at Old Trafford to major rivals Leeds United. Normally this would be reason enough for me to just sulk but the fact that we were out-played for the vast majority by a team two divisions below us, on the last day of my Christmas holidays, makes me lose the will to do anything.
Jermaine Beckford ruins my day!
I woke up this morning feeling fresh and motivated but, after seeing my team play like they were the lower division side, I only managed to do the ironing and a bit of tidying up.
Anyway, I am not going to let this one game completely ruin my day. After all, there is the Darts World Final tonight which could be a great match seeing as the seemingly annual Barneveld vs Taylor show has seen a surprise upset.
If I don't watch this, I may get dumped with Celebrity Big Brother or one of the following movies:
- 500 Days of Summer
- Jennifers Body
- Moon
- Observe and Report
- Race to Witch Mountain (remake with Dwayne Dibbly aka The Rock)
- The Proposal
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