Dearest reader-base,
I must apologise for the large gap between my last post and this one.
Either a lot has happened or I am extremely lazy!
I am lazy.
I am now IT Service Manager at work which has been a nice promotion but a little stressful at times. I am now going to aim to work my way through the ITIL v3 Qualifications to become a certified expert over the next 2-3 years. Doing this is likely to ensure what I do for the rest of my career and at what level I can do so.
I have just come back from the itSMF Conference at the Novotel in London. This is supposedly THE conference of the year for Service Management geeks like me. I have to admit to being more than a little disappointed.
What I found was an awful lot of self back-slapping and condescending speakers. I don't consider myself one of the best public speakers in the world but I am certainly better than some of the guys I had to listen stutter their way through sentences.
I can handle people being nervous about speaking in front of a large group of strangers - not just strangers but like-minded industry professionals waiting for you to slip up. It is natural to be nervous and choke on your words etc.
What I can't handle is the content of the presentations.
These presentations are put together in a relatively stress-free environment where time and consideration may be given to the content. These presentations were to be delivered to people in similar roles in the industry, people looking for practical advice on how to overcome common problems. For me, the majority of the audience have a grounding in the theory so why waste your 40 minutes explaining theory. It would have been a lot cheaper for me to buy a book and maybe that would have been more insightful. I think this shows a lack of respect for the audience.
What did I want?
I wanted to explain how people overcame various problems that are common to all. What did they do to make a difference? What obstacles did they come up against? How did they overcome them? Which problems could you not overcome? Why not?
I want practical advice that I can take away and try.
What did I get out of attending?
It wasn't all bad - not by any stretch of the imagination.
I felt that the opening speech by Sir Ranulph Fiennes was possibly the most inspiring speech I have ever had the pleasure to hear. This man is a legend and I only hope that the itSMF make the video available to all of its members to view again.
Also, I have come away with some ideas and a positive outlook on the future. Certainly, it has inspired me to become a certified expert in my field, I want and expect my team to become ISO20000 accredited, and I want to leave my company with a long-lasting legacy in the future. I would be very proud to see my team collect an award on that stage in the future and I will do everything I can to make that happen.
Thursday, 11 November 2010
Sunday, 25 April 2010
What would I like to do with my life?
A question that many people are asked with an expectation that they have an answer:
"What do you want to do with your life?"
Well, I am 32 years old this year and I still don't know. I know what I am doing and where that is taking me but I don't think that is the same thing.
I would like to DJ at Womb in Japan (http://www.womb.co.jp/) or Amnesia in Ibiza.
I would like to create the next top club anthem or write and release a tune capable of making the top 10.
I would like to cure the worlds ill and make a difference to some of our less privileged friends around the world.
The question is not "what do you want to do with your life" but "what are you capable of doing with your life" or possibly even "what boring mundane job would you like to do until you retire".
This is not to say that I am not happy in my job or that I don't appreciate the fact that I have a good job. All I am saying is that it does not bring an awful lot of excitement and,when all is said and done, my work will not have made a blind bit of difference to the progression of the human race. I mean an IT Service Management role will hardly set the world alight or cause people to stop and think.
I think I am reasonably influential and bring a lot more to enrich the lives of those around me than just IT. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe I am destined to work in IT and maybe, just maybe, I will have the opportunity to make a difference but it doesn't appear to be coming anytime soon.
The biggest problem, of course, is the fact that I am a lazy arse and will unlikely go out and search for that excitement that I so yearn.
See my last post.
"What do you want to do with your life?"
Well, I am 32 years old this year and I still don't know. I know what I am doing and where that is taking me but I don't think that is the same thing.
I would like to DJ at Womb in Japan (http://www.womb.co.jp/) or Amnesia in Ibiza.
I would like to create the next top club anthem or write and release a tune capable of making the top 10.
I would like to cure the worlds ill and make a difference to some of our less privileged friends around the world.
The question is not "what do you want to do with your life" but "what are you capable of doing with your life" or possibly even "what boring mundane job would you like to do until you retire".
This is not to say that I am not happy in my job or that I don't appreciate the fact that I have a good job. All I am saying is that it does not bring an awful lot of excitement and,when all is said and done, my work will not have made a blind bit of difference to the progression of the human race. I mean an IT Service Management role will hardly set the world alight or cause people to stop and think.
I think I am reasonably influential and bring a lot more to enrich the lives of those around me than just IT. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe I am destined to work in IT and maybe, just maybe, I will have the opportunity to make a difference but it doesn't appear to be coming anytime soon.
The biggest problem, of course, is the fact that I am a lazy arse and will unlikely go out and search for that excitement that I so yearn.
See my last post.
It's been a long time coming....
Firstly, I would like to apologise to my loyal "army" of "fans".
I have proven not only to myself but also to you that as much as I want to commit to something and make and effort, my attention span will simply not allow it. Take this blog, which was designed to be a bit like an online diary. I haven't updated it for 2 months which kind of implies that I have done nothing and have no thoughts or burning issues.
The truth of the matter is unfortunately more depressing than that. The truth is that I am lazy and maybe the lack of large audience makes it easier for me to decide that my blog has no worth. However, this blog was not designed to rake in massive numbers of readers. This blog was designed to be a place for me to document my own thoughts regardless of anyone else's interest.
So, there you have it, I am a lazy twat.
I have proven not only to myself but also to you that as much as I want to commit to something and make and effort, my attention span will simply not allow it. Take this blog, which was designed to be a bit like an online diary. I haven't updated it for 2 months which kind of implies that I have done nothing and have no thoughts or burning issues.
The truth of the matter is unfortunately more depressing than that. The truth is that I am lazy and maybe the lack of large audience makes it easier for me to decide that my blog has no worth. However, this blog was not designed to rake in massive numbers of readers. This blog was designed to be a place for me to document my own thoughts regardless of anyone else's interest.
So, there you have it, I am a lazy twat.
Me thinking about contributing something to life
Monday, 8 February 2010
Arch Nemesis
I think I have discovered my enemy, my equal opposite, something just as annoying as me.
That's right. As annoying as me.
Amazingly (or not) it isn't a human. Only a cold calculating machine could be as annoying.
"What is it?", I hear you ask.
Well, I'll tell you.
You spend the best part of an hour filling in an internet form only for you to click "Submit" and watch the whole lot disappear before your very eyes and be replaced with a page saying "Error 404" or some other meaningless shite.
So you think "Ha! Fuck you Internet!" and click the "back" button (thinking you are clever and can beat your nemesis) only to find you are presented with the internet's version of a double forks in the form of a page stating:
"This page has expired" which if translated into English basically means "Fuck You Beckster!"
That's right. As annoying as me.
Amazingly (or not) it isn't a human. Only a cold calculating machine could be as annoying.
"What is it?", I hear you ask.
Well, I'll tell you.
You spend the best part of an hour filling in an internet form only for you to click "Submit" and watch the whole lot disappear before your very eyes and be replaced with a page saying "Error 404" or some other meaningless shite.
So you think "Ha! Fuck you Internet!" and click the "back" button (thinking you are clever and can beat your nemesis) only to find you are presented with the internet's version of a double forks in the form of a page stating:
"This page has expired" which if translated into English basically means "Fuck You Beckster!"
Tuesday, 19 January 2010
What is happening in the world?
Today, I am going to ignore the Manchester City v Manchester United result (we lost 2-1, by the way).
Instead I am going to concentrate on two absolutely horrendous stories in the news:
1. Burglar attacker's appeal fails
The general gist is that Munir Hussain and his brother chased down a burglar and twatted him around the head with a cricket bat.
A burglar that had broken into Mr Hussain's home and tied up his family to steal their belongings. Mr Hussain and his brother escaped, gave chase to the burglar and smacked him that hard he ended up with severe brain damage and the bat was broken into 3 pieces.
Mr Hussain and his brother are now in prison for 30 months for grievous bodily harm with intent.They are currently trying to appeal the conviction.
You know what really grinds my gears? If this burglar, Walid Salem, had not entered Mr Hussain's home he would not have brain damage now. If someone breaks into your home and ties up your family you should be able to do what the fuck you like to them.
If he broke into my home and tied up my family, he would be in my basement undergoing extensive levels of torture. The police would have known nothing about the burglary because, by the time I had finished with him, there would be very little left of Mr Salem.
Cap well and truly doffed to Mr Hussain and his brother. Not just for their courageous vigilante action but also for being able to hit someone so hard with a cricket bat that it smashes into three pieces.
I salute you!
2. Man guilty of 'reckless' HIV sex
This second story is about a woman who found out she had contracted HIV when she was pregnant with twins.The father of these twins had known he had HIV for 9 years (NINE YEARS!!) but still decided to have unprotected sex with this poor woman without advising of the risks.
Not only that, he decided to do the same to 3 other women.
Luckily, the three other women escaped contracting the virus but that is more luck than judgement.
This girl who has the virus is living with a ticking time bomb.
You know what really grinds my gears? This guy will probably get a lenient sentence because of his virus.
I say lock him up for life and when the AIDS kicks in, let this mother fucker suffer. No medication, no pain relief - just agonising pain with no assistance.
You can't take back what he did but you can make this guy suffer. BIG TIME!
Peace out!
Instead I am going to concentrate on two absolutely horrendous stories in the news:
1. Burglar attacker's appeal fails
The general gist is that Munir Hussain and his brother chased down a burglar and twatted him around the head with a cricket bat.
A burglar that had broken into Mr Hussain's home and tied up his family to steal their belongings. Mr Hussain and his brother escaped, gave chase to the burglar and smacked him that hard he ended up with severe brain damage and the bat was broken into 3 pieces.
Mr Hussain and his brother are now in prison for 30 months for grievous bodily harm with intent.They are currently trying to appeal the conviction.
You know what really grinds my gears? If this burglar, Walid Salem, had not entered Mr Hussain's home he would not have brain damage now. If someone breaks into your home and ties up your family you should be able to do what the fuck you like to them.
If he broke into my home and tied up my family, he would be in my basement undergoing extensive levels of torture. The police would have known nothing about the burglary because, by the time I had finished with him, there would be very little left of Mr Salem.
Cap well and truly doffed to Mr Hussain and his brother. Not just for their courageous vigilante action but also for being able to hit someone so hard with a cricket bat that it smashes into three pieces.
I salute you!
2. Man guilty of 'reckless' HIV sex
This second story is about a woman who found out she had contracted HIV when she was pregnant with twins.The father of these twins had known he had HIV for 9 years (NINE YEARS!!) but still decided to have unprotected sex with this poor woman without advising of the risks.
Not only that, he decided to do the same to 3 other women.
Luckily, the three other women escaped contracting the virus but that is more luck than judgement.
This girl who has the virus is living with a ticking time bomb.
You know what really grinds my gears? This guy will probably get a lenient sentence because of his virus.
I say lock him up for life and when the AIDS kicks in, let this mother fucker suffer. No medication, no pain relief - just agonising pain with no assistance.
You can't take back what he did but you can make this guy suffer. BIG TIME!
Peace out!
Friday, 15 January 2010
Flash Stroke?
Perhaps winding my wife up is also the catalyst for my weird dreams. Or maybe my dreams are pointing me in the direction of undiscovered science.
Take last night for instance - after I'd wound up my wife with the ol' "Bony Bony" I shortly drifted off to sleep....
In my dream, I was teaching my brother Dean (the guy in my first blog with the head the size of Jupiter) to drive in a 4 x 4. After the lesson, we stopped off at my house where, for some reason, my wife, Mum, Steve (Mum's husband), Helena were all waiting to take our photo for what they called an "annual family photo".
You must understand that, not being the most photogenic of families (ugly), this is weird in itself.
Anyway, Dean started making excuses to not have his photo taken saying he didn't like it. After much arguing he then revealed that he was "allergic to having his photo taken" following it up with "it gives me flash stroke".
"Flash stroke?", I enquired.
"Yeah, the flash from a camera makes me lose the ability to use one half of my body... It's like a stroke but caused by a camera"
Then before I had time to argue he ran across the road and drove off in the 4 x 4 I had been using to teach him to drive.
Obviously, I am not a great teacher either as Dean proceeded to cut the first corner he came to, failed to give way at the first junction, and narrowly escaped 3 smashes.
Weird.
Take last night for instance - after I'd wound up my wife with the ol' "Bony Bony" I shortly drifted off to sleep....
In my dream, I was teaching my brother Dean (the guy in my first blog with the head the size of Jupiter) to drive in a 4 x 4. After the lesson, we stopped off at my house where, for some reason, my wife, Mum, Steve (Mum's husband), Helena were all waiting to take our photo for what they called an "annual family photo".
You must understand that, not being the most photogenic of families (ugly), this is weird in itself.
Anyway, Dean started making excuses to not have his photo taken saying he didn't like it. After much arguing he then revealed that he was "allergic to having his photo taken" following it up with "it gives me flash stroke".
"Flash stroke?", I enquired.
"Yeah, the flash from a camera makes me lose the ability to use one half of my body... It's like a stroke but caused by a camera"
Then before I had time to argue he ran across the road and drove off in the 4 x 4 I had been using to teach him to drive.
Obviously, I am not a great teacher either as Dean proceeded to cut the first corner he came to, failed to give way at the first junction, and narrowly escaped 3 smashes.
Weird.
The Merchant of Wind Up
Today I wonder if I am the World's Greatest Wind Up Merchant. I hope I am and if this is indeed a fact, where is my god-damn medal?
Last night, I made my wife storm off for a bath and stop speaking to me by simply repeating the word "Bony"
e.g.
Wife: "Sean, your ribs are jabbing in me. You are so bony."
Me: "Bony Bony!"
Wife:"Stop repeating me..."
Me: "Bony Bony!"
etc....
She is now speaking to me again. Just.
Last night, I made my wife storm off for a bath and stop speaking to me by simply repeating the word "Bony"
e.g.
Wife: "Sean, your ribs are jabbing in me. You are so bony."
Me: "Bony Bony!"
Wife:"Stop repeating me..."
Me: "Bony Bony!"
etc....
She is now speaking to me again. Just.
Wednesday, 13 January 2010
Does God Hate Us?
Well it's simple - if He does exist, He hates us for sure.
You want proof? See the following non-exhaustive list:
2. Today's earth quake disaster in Haiti
4. Having to hide your porn from your Missus so she doesn't think you are a deviant. And leaves you.
5. September 11th 2001
6. The fact that I have to buy a 3D TV to watch Avatar the way it should be presented when it comes out on Blu-Ray
8. Also, said 3D TV will probably be a piss poor-spec compared to what will come out if I wait 6 months
9. Petrol prices and the fact that I cannot fix the energy crisis and become an instant billionnaire.
10. The Plague
So, I think you will agree that there is clearly no God.
I also so think that I have made my point succinctly enough and my list, whilst not exhaustive, does cover some pretty important issues.
However, Liverpool have just been knocked out the cup so, I guess, the jury's still out on God's hatred for us (me)...
You want proof? See the following non-exhaustive list:
1. Manchester United losing to Leeds United in the FA Cup 3rd Round a few weeks ago
3. The existence of Bobby Davro (and other annoying "celebrities")
4. Having to hide your porn from your Missus so she doesn't think you are a deviant. And leaves you.
5. September 11th 2001
6. The fact that I have to buy a 3D TV to watch Avatar the way it should be presented when it comes out on Blu-Ray
7. The fact that I will buy said 3D TV and will pay 4 times what it will cost if I wait 6 more months.
9. Petrol prices and the fact that I cannot fix the energy crisis and become an instant billionnaire.
10. The Plague
I also so think that I have made my point succinctly enough and my list, whilst not exhaustive, does cover some pretty important issues.
However, Liverpool have just been knocked out the cup so, I guess, the jury's still out on God's hatred for us (me)...
Sunday, 10 January 2010
Reality TV
As the Queen may say, One is not amused.
If I am to sit through reality shite like Celebrity Big Brother and Dancing On Ice, I expect a modicum of eye candy. I have managed to sit through several series of Dancing On Ice thanks to the fine frame of Kristina Lenko (not the best pic of her but she is hot):
If I am to sit through reality shite like Celebrity Big Brother and Dancing On Ice, I expect a modicum of eye candy. I have managed to sit through several series of Dancing On Ice thanks to the fine frame of Kristina Lenko (not the best pic of her but she is hot):
Instead, I have to put up with potato faced Bobby Davro:
And I didn't win the lottery.
Life is definitely not fair.
Monday, 4 January 2010
Bono = Cock
Why is Bono such a cock?
Normally I would not have to qualify this question. However, the following seems to do that for me:
"The immutable laws of bandwidth tell us we're just a few years away from being able to download an entire season of '24' in 24 seconds," he wrote.
"A decade's worth of music file-sharing and swiping has made clear that the people it hurts are the creators...the people this reverse Robin Hooding benefits are rich service providers, whose swollen profits perfectly mirror the lost receipts of the music business."
Reverse Robin Hooding? Stealing from the poor to give to the rich?
Bono is said to be worth £400 million and is said to have once paid $1700 to fly his favourite hat from London to Italy in first class!
Normally I would not have to qualify this question. However, the following seems to do that for me:
"The immutable laws of bandwidth tell us we're just a few years away from being able to download an entire season of '24' in 24 seconds," he wrote.
"A decade's worth of music file-sharing and swiping has made clear that the people it hurts are the creators...the people this reverse Robin Hooding benefits are rich service providers, whose swollen profits perfectly mirror the lost receipts of the music business."
Reverse Robin Hooding? Stealing from the poor to give to the rich?
Bono is said to be worth £400 million and is said to have once paid $1700 to fly his favourite hat from London to Italy in first class!
Dreams and Reality
One thing that puzzles me more and more is how we distinguish dreams and reality. Now this may seem like The Matrix induced nonsense but this has bothered me since I was a kid. I have some pretty weird dreams and a lot of what I guess we call nightmares. I have lucid dreams - dreams in which I can control myself and my environment; and I have dreams which impact me in the "physical world" i.e. the real me.
So, I thought I would investigate this and see if I could get some answers. As per usual, the internet delivers more information than I could possibly read in a lifetime. Certainly, there is enough out there to make me believe I am not the only mentalist thinking about these things.
Zhuangzi (369—298 BCE) or "Master Zhuang" was apparently ranked among the greatest of literary and philosophical giants that China has produced (read more here and here).
Zhuangzi wrote "Dream of the Butterfly" which seems to encapsulate my thoughts. Sort of:
He who dreams of drinking wine may weep when morning comes; he who dreams of weeping may in the morning go off to hunt. While he is dreaming he does not know it is a dream, and in his dream he may even try to interpret a dream. Only after he wakes does he know it was a dream. And someday there will be a great awakening when we know that this is all a great dream. Yet the stupid believe they are awake, busily and brightly assuming they understand things, calling this man ruler, that one herdsman ‑ how dense! Confucius and you are both dreaming! And when I say you are dreaming, I am dreaming, too. Words like these will be labeled the Supreme Swindle. Yet, after ten thousand generations, a great sage may appear who will know their meaning, and it will still be as though he appeared with astonishing speed.
So, I thought I would investigate this and see if I could get some answers. As per usual, the internet delivers more information than I could possibly read in a lifetime. Certainly, there is enough out there to make me believe I am not the only mentalist thinking about these things.
Zhuangzi (369—298 BCE) or "Master Zhuang" was apparently ranked among the greatest of literary and philosophical giants that China has produced (read more here and here).
Zhuangzi wrote "Dream of the Butterfly" which seems to encapsulate my thoughts. Sort of:
Once upon a time, I, Zhuangzi, dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither,
to all intents and purposes a butterfly.
I was conscious only of following my fancies as a butterfly,
and was unconscious of my individuality as a man.
Suddenly, I awaked, and there I lay, myself again.
Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly,
or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man.
Between a man and a butterfly there is necessarily a barrier.
The transition is called Metempsychosis
Is there going to be a great "awakening"? Is this going to be some Matrix-like revelation? Is this in some way related to the end of the Mayan calendar and the so-called global "consciousness shift" and general spiritual evolution of man that awaits us in 2012?
I'm fucked if I know, Terry.
Sunday, 3 January 2010
The New Year Begins...
If I am to do this properly, I suppose I should introduce myself and some of the people I love and annoy.
I am 31 years old and I work in the IT industry as a Service Desk Manager. I have worked in IT for about 7 years now and hope to have a bright future ahead of me (or an incredible Lottery result).
I am married to a glorious, patient and often hilarious lady called Jeanette. She is my rock, she looks after me, she makes me feel happy when I would otherwise be down. She makes me laugh and no doubt some quotes from her will appear here soon.
We are hardly the most active couple in the world (excluding the bedroom ahem!) as we enjoy watching sports and movies together and the occasional crap on the television. We enjoy good food and like to cook for each other but we are also fairly lazy so, probably more often than we should, we just call for a pizza!
I consider myself a DJ - ex professional - mainly because I still have my decks and collect vinyl. I do expect to go fully digital in 2010 though so expect to see them on ebay soon.
My younger brother Dean, who is about 18 feet tall, lives in Madrid with his girlfriend Helena. He is one of those irritating people who seems to breeze through life with no responsibility. We have a good relationship but always find something to argue about - be it Mario Kart, music, movies, football (despite supporting the same team). I expect Dean and Helena to appear on here often over the course of 2010 as we often chat online together and share opinions. I also hope to visit them in Madrid at some point this year.
I also expect to introduce some of my closest friends over the course of the year as and when I see them.
My main reason for this blog is to keep a track of what we do, my thoughts and opinions over the year, and hopefully for others to comment or advise. I say in my title that I am "semi-normal" but I cannot quantify this in anyway and often think that I over-analyse everything and worry about pointless things. I let these thoughts stress me out sometimes and I hope that feedback I get will confirm that most of us are similarly neurotic about nothing. Or that I am insane.
Today
Today my team, Manchester United, lose at Old Trafford to major rivals Leeds United. Normally this would be reason enough for me to just sulk but the fact that we were out-played for the vast majority by a team two divisions below us, on the last day of my Christmas holidays, makes me lose the will to do anything.
I woke up this morning feeling fresh and motivated but, after seeing my team play like they were the lower division side, I only managed to do the ironing and a bit of tidying up.
Anyway, I am not going to let this one game completely ruin my day. After all, there is the Darts World Final tonight which could be a great match seeing as the seemingly annual Barneveld vs Taylor show has seen a surprise upset.
If I don't watch this, I may get dumped with Celebrity Big Brother or one of the following movies:
I am 31 years old and I work in the IT industry as a Service Desk Manager. I have worked in IT for about 7 years now and hope to have a bright future ahead of me (or an incredible Lottery result).
My poor wife!
We are hardly the most active couple in the world (excluding the bedroom ahem!) as we enjoy watching sports and movies together and the occasional crap on the television. We enjoy good food and like to cook for each other but we are also fairly lazy so, probably more often than we should, we just call for a pizza!
I consider myself a DJ - ex professional - mainly because I still have my decks and collect vinyl. I do expect to go fully digital in 2010 though so expect to see them on ebay soon.
1210's, CDJ's and some of my vinyl
My younger brother Dean, who is about 18 feet tall, lives in Madrid with his girlfriend Helena. He is one of those irritating people who seems to breeze through life with no responsibility. We have a good relationship but always find something to argue about - be it Mario Kart, music, movies, football (despite supporting the same team). I expect Dean and Helena to appear on here often over the course of 2010 as we often chat online together and share opinions. I also hope to visit them in Madrid at some point this year.
Helena and Dean in Madrid
I also expect to introduce some of my closest friends over the course of the year as and when I see them.
My main reason for this blog is to keep a track of what we do, my thoughts and opinions over the year, and hopefully for others to comment or advise. I say in my title that I am "semi-normal" but I cannot quantify this in anyway and often think that I over-analyse everything and worry about pointless things. I let these thoughts stress me out sometimes and I hope that feedback I get will confirm that most of us are similarly neurotic about nothing. Or that I am insane.
Today my team, Manchester United, lose at Old Trafford to major rivals Leeds United. Normally this would be reason enough for me to just sulk but the fact that we were out-played for the vast majority by a team two divisions below us, on the last day of my Christmas holidays, makes me lose the will to do anything.
Jermaine Beckford ruins my day!
I woke up this morning feeling fresh and motivated but, after seeing my team play like they were the lower division side, I only managed to do the ironing and a bit of tidying up.
Anyway, I am not going to let this one game completely ruin my day. After all, there is the Darts World Final tonight which could be a great match seeing as the seemingly annual Barneveld vs Taylor show has seen a surprise upset.
If I don't watch this, I may get dumped with Celebrity Big Brother or one of the following movies:
- 500 Days of Summer
- Jennifers Body
- Moon
- Observe and Report
- Race to Witch Mountain (remake with Dwayne Dibbly aka The Rock)
- The Proposal
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
